" She did and I calmed in her loving arms. She let me rest until I felt peace again. Then another first, an unforgettable first, it was to feel the intense throbbing receding, and little butterflies fluttering into my tummy and between my legs. She didn't do anything else. She didn't ask me to do anything to her so I never knew her body, but Val, I'm sure she did love me that afternoon. We never did it again. A few weeks later, at end of term, she returned to France . And it broke my heart. Talking to you like this, I've relived that afternoon, and I feel a little sad now. Like "le petit mort" you know after intense emotion, “the little death.” She was my first love and I often wonder where she is and what she is doing now. Does she ever think of me? This wasn't merely a girlish diddle (or a Jill as you say in America ). It was as if a bloody great door had been smashed open for me. But it wasn’t brutal, it was sweet, gentle and loving and if I’d started late, it was a. You fled, stumbled away holding each other. Barely breathing. Your eyes were blurry. Was it laughter or chemistry? He cried and so did you.Evil white fog and plexi shields on one side, thick black smoke and raging Ists on the other. You were lost at the world's end. What are you waiting for? Run for your fucking life, citizen! Adrenaline really has a terrible taste. Bitter. Even the magret was better. But... Are we to go back to this restaurant ? Food for thought.A narrow back alley. A mere hole in the wall to keep you away from the leather boots and the madness. You took care of each other, with caresses and hugs and kind words. You opened our eyes and looked. The suit was in pieces, the gown ruined, the decolleté a cascade of tears and cold sweat.You felt hideous and terrified. How could you not kiss?Your lips locked together. Exalted. Avid.The wall you fell against scratched with old chalk the last hopes of ever saving the gown for another night. You did not care. His tongue danced.
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